The Procrastinator Performer

Step One: Understand how focus works

I feel like this should be a 12 step programme declaration intro. My name is Crystal and I am a Procrastinator Performer. For years I have held ideas in my head, allowed them to percolate, considered logistics and  how they may be delivered. All of this would be going on without me putting pen to paper. It would sometimes act as a stressor as some good ideas would thin out because I didn't write the concept down, or they would sit there as a heavy weight waiting to be birthed. The thing is whenever there was a strict deadline for that idea, project, report or presentation, you could bet your bottom dollar/pound that it would be delivered on time without fail by any means necessary.

Now I would love to live in a world where I did not stretch myself to the max in order to perform. It actually has previously grieved me that I procrastinate to the point of notable pressure in order to perform. But the truth is that this is when I produce my finest work. I have always internally criticsed my way of working. I have previously tried to change my work approach to a more steady eddy, day by day, lets do a little at a time way ahead of deadline but I inevitably default to my procrastinator performer style. For years I have almost hidden this work approach as if it is somehow inferior or a less professional way of working but actually, I want to place this approach on the map and endorse it as a legitimate strategy for effective working!

Now let me be clear. I have placed procrastinator alongside the word performer. I am accepting that a part of my work process from an external view appears as if there is a delay in producing the goods. However, the work is happening and continuously forming in my mind, creatively and consciously connecting the dots. Along the way there are coffee conversations, reading for research and reflections on lived experiences which all goes into what will ultimately be produced. Procrastination is about putting pen to paper, not the absence of work being done! Do I dance in my living room to Motown while thinking about the logistics of a particular project…absolutely. Then when it comes to time and I sit in front of my laptop all of the planning flows onto the page like a work of art. Are my facial expressions sometimes contorted into a grimace due to the time pressure I have now put myself under? Again yes however, this is the pressure required to produce the diamonds. 

I must caveat this with some distinct practicalities if I am to convincingly endorse this a valued and professional way of working. Procrastination need not mean producing absolutely everything at the last minute. This is a very risky way of working and you may fall short of the intended mark. I have found building in reviews or check points has been a helpful part of the process ensuring that I do sufficient work along the way towards the ultimate deadline. I am a massively relational person so accountability is critical. Where I may kick the can down the street when it comes to me and me alone, I will not drop the ball if others are depending on me to deliver.  Tapping into what works for you is key. You can honour your true way of working without judgment while still building activities that ensure the best possible outcome which sees your work flourish!

Where are all of my procrastinator performers at?!?!

Can you relate?