Experiencing the full spectrum of emotions does not make you ‘less than’ it makes you HU-MAN!

I can't tell you the countless times I have judged myself when being in seasons of low, anxiety or doubt. Any emotion experienced at the undesirable end of the spectrum was wedded with a subtle narrative of inferiority or questioning how well I may becoping with life in general. There was a kind of admonishing or berating both internally and, to some degree, externally to show up ‘on form’  in all of my joyous aimable perfection. Simply put, there was a distinct conditioning that said only my desired emotions were palatable. Insert masking and performance here. In short, I wasn’t permitting myself to be human. In suffocating some emotions in hope that they would go away, it actually had the opposite effect. They fought for oxygen and visibility. There was a full on war within. 

Somehow being in a desirable state of emotions meant that I must be ‘winning’ at life, that all is well with the world. The issue with this is the inverse was a direct contradiction, thus swinging past balance as I went from one extreme to the other. You’re either all the way up or you’re in the trenches! In a bid to stay up, we can often find ourselves suppressing the shadow side, unwilling to acknowledge its presence let alone explore its influence on our lives. Yet what remains true, or at least true as I understand it, is that our whole selves inform our thinking, actions and being. It wasn’t until I accepted all parts of myself, that I could come to peace with what was. From this place of acceptance and peace, I have greater capacity for seeing things as they are, not better or worse than they are. Living in a reality where I judge myself less, allows for more creativity, better planning, an openness to change and an overall authenticity that actually opened the door to the balance that I didn't experience when in a seat of judgment. 

So today, my emotions are placed on a conveyor belt (generation game style). I observe my feelings understanding that, ‘good’ or ‘bad’, (I prefer the language of ‘desirable’ or ‘undesirable’), this too shall pass…..and will probably circle back again. This too is ok!  While I often take time in reflection to understand where those feelings have come from and how they have impacted my decisions or behaviours, the volume of the inner critical parent has been turned down. Truthfully I would like to have the inner critic completely on mute however, I also accept that this voice serves a purpose and sometimes, just sometimes, it works for my good!

Being human was to  breathe through all of the emotions that we inevitably, in some form, will experience. I’ve found that giving oxygen to all parts of my emotional body allows for greater movement. Life strides are bolder. Energy is rooted in acceptance. I live peacefully in imperfection and focus on progress.

So I will say it again for the people in the back, to feel your full spectrum of emotions does not make you less than, it makes you HU-MAN!