Why Your Brain is a Personal PA (and How Coaching Helps You Train It)

Have you ever decided you’re going to “eat healthier” and suddenly the universe seems to conspire against you? You walk into a café and your eyes instantly lock onto the triple chocolate brownie at the counter. You weren’t scanning for it consciously—but your Reticular Activating System (RAS) was. It heard “food” and, like an overly enthusiastic tour guide, spotlighted the brownie as if it were the Mona Lisa.

That’s your RAS at work. A bundle of neurons in the brainstem, its job is deceptively simple: filter reality. At any given moment, your senses are bombarding you with about 11 million bits of information per second (Nørretranders, 1998). But your conscious brain? It can only process about 40 of those. Forty! That’s fewer than the number of emails in your inbox before 9 a.m. Without the RAS, you’d be overwhelmed before you even buttered your toast.

Why Coaches Love the RAS

Here’s the fun part: your RAS doesn’t filter randomly. It highlights whatever you tell it is important. If you’re focused on stress, it’ll gleefully collect every email ping, traffic jam, or sigh from a colleague as evidence you’re drowning. But if you focus on progress, connection, or opportunity, your RAS will nudge those to the surface instead.

This is why coaching matters. Coaching conversations clarify your goals and values, which act like instructions for your RAS. Once primed, it starts serving up information, patterns, and opportunities that align with your chosen direction. The outside world doesn’t change—your focus does.

Psychology Gives Us Backup

Cognitive psychology has plenty to say about this. Remember Simons & Chabris’s (1999) famous “Invisible Gorilla” study? Participants asked to count basketball passes often failed to notice a person in a gorilla suit strolling through the scene. Why? Because their RAS was filtering for passes, not primates.

Or take the “expectancy effect” (Rosenthal & Jacobson, 1968), where students performed better when teachers expected them to. The brain filtered cues differently, behaviours shifted, and outcomes followed. It’s the RAS in action—proof that what we focus on expands.

A Dash of Humour (Because Neuroscience Can Sound Dry)

Think of the RAS as your brain’s slightly overeager personal assistant. Tell it, “I’m rubbish at networking,” and it will dutifully highlight every awkward silence at the drinks reception. Tell it, “I’m looking for moments of connection,” and suddenly it notices smiles, shared stories, and the one colleague who also hates warm prosecco. Coaching is what helps you give your PA the right job description.

How to Focus Differently Tomorrow

• Prime it daily: Write down three things you want to notice today. Your RAS thrives on clarity.

• Interrupt it: In tough moments, ask, What else could be true here? This resets the filter from tunnel vision to wider perspective.

• Partner wisely: Work with a coach who can spot where your RAS is tripping you up and help re-train it towards growth, wellbeing, and opportunity.

Your brain is already working hard behind the scenes—why not train it to work for you instead of against you? At Intentional Steps Ltd, we help individuals and organisations rewire focus, unlock potential, and create wellbeing that lasts.