My Secret (and Now Not-So-Secret) Coaching Pet Peeves

(A thought piece for coaches who love the craft… but occasionally roll their eyes too)

Let’s be honest. For all the talk about curiosity, presence, and partnership, there are moments in coaching that make even the most serene professional want to quietly close their laptop and whisper, “Did that really just happen?”

You know the ones. The moments that stretch the very fabric of our patience, that test our capacity to stay professional while our inner coach is having a full-on internal monologue.

So, in the spirit of radical honesty and good humour, here are a few of my secret (and now public) coaching pet peeves.

1. The “Let Me Tell You What You Should Do” Coach

It starts so well. A lovely contract, great rapport, maybe even a soft nod of mutual respect. Then suddenly, as if by possession, the coach morphs into an advice machine. “Have you tried journaling?” “You should speak to your manager.” “You need to let go of that.” Oh, the irony. We preach empowerment, then swoop in like well-meaning superheroes. The cape is flattering, but it doesn’t belong in coaching.

2. The Over-Enthusiastic Echo

You’ve heard it before:

Client: “I feel stuck.”

Coach: “You feel stuck.”

Client: “Yeah, I do.”

Coach: “You do.”

By the fourth round, the client’s wondering if they’ve accidentally joined a mindfulness improv class. Reflecting is powerful until it starts sounding like a broken record. Sometimes the best reflection is silence.

3. The Performance Pause

That moment when a coach pauses so dramatically after every question that the client starts checking their Wi-Fi connection. The pause is meant to be profound. Instead, it’s… unnerving. Coaching isn’t theatre. You don’t need a drum roll before every inquiry. Presence is enough.

4. The Hidden Agenda

Ah, the coach who has a secret hope for the session. They desperately want the client to reach a big insight, to break through, to cry, to transform. But coaching isn’t about us getting the Hollywood ending. Sometimes the win is simply the client leaving with one new question, not a full revelation.

5. The Competency Collector

They quote every framework, model, and acronym known to humankind. “This is very much a GROW moment… though if we think about it systemically through CLEAR… and of course, let’s not forget the Wheel of Life.” By the time the client gets a word in, they’ve completed a masterclass they didn’t sign up for.

6. The “Everything’s Energy” Explanation

Don’t get me wrong, energy matters. But when every coaching point is followed by “it’s just energy,” we’ve entered the realm of vague spirituality meets philosophical Sudoku. Sometimes a client’s exhaustion is not “blocked energy.” It’s because they’re working 60 hours a week.

7. The Over-Curious Cat

Curiosity is the lifeblood of coaching. Until it turns into interrogation. “How long have you felt that?” “What’s behind that?” “What’s underneath that?” “What’s underneath that?” Soon, the client is emotionally spelunking without oxygen. A little curiosity is connection. Too much is chaos.

Why Pet Peeves Matter

Now before you think I’ve turned into the grumpy coach on the hill, here’s the truth: pet peeves often point to passion. They remind us that we care about the craft. They highlight the edges where we see coaching drift away from its heart which in my view are partnership, presence, and genuine curiosity.

When we laugh about these quirks together, we bring awareness to the subtleties that make great coaching… great.

The Mirror Moment

So here’s the question , which one do you secretly relate to? Because if we’re really honest, we’ve all been there. The advice-giver, the model-dropper, the over-pauser. The human coach.

That’s why coaching supervision exists. Not as a telling-off corner, but as a reflective playground where we can unpack our habits, laugh at our blind spots, and grow from them.

If any of these pet peeves made you wince, smile, or nod knowingly, maybe it’s time to book a coaching supervision session. Bring your curiosity, your questions, and yes, even your quirks.

👉 Book an enquiry call here

Let’s keep coaching human — messy, brilliant, and real.